








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1010 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5566 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,184 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2633 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2410 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2704 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2437 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,851,199 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 836 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Polacko | 65% | 54 |
| #2 | Makoto | 64% | 67 |
| #3 | Dead_Bed | 61% | 61 |
| #4 | unpoppable | 57% | 117 |
| #5 | SoreSoul | 57% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Makoto | 304 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | unpoppable | 288 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | Dead_Bed | 219 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Polacko | 176 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | SoreSoul | 89 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | goopshoot (DBF) | +2.24 | 92 | 62 |
| #2 | SoreSoul | +1.10 | 78 | 55 |
| #3 | unpoppable | +0.06 | 62 | 61 |
| #4 | Polacko | -0.29 | 60 | 62 |
| #5 | Makoto | -0.66 | 81 | 58 |





