








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 417 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 236 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4131 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,385 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4297 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5253 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3694 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4141 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $932,259 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 131 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zikael | 64% | 73 |
| #2 | Boserup | 59% | 34 |
| #3 | God_Hates_Ash | 54% | 76 |
| #4 | NatBingBong | 51% | 106 |
| #5 | ✧: •.c dawg hates csgo | 49% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | NatBingBong | 51% | 106 |
| #5 | ✧: •.c dawg hates csgo | 49% | 83 |
| #6 | god | 48% | 42 |
| #7 | Sk1reh | 47% | 81 |
| #8 | Willebrodus | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boserup | 7 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | NatBingBong | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Zikael | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Willebrodus | 5 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | Sk1reh | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✧: •.c dawg hates csgo | 227 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | Sk1reh | 188 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | Zikael | 49 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | god | 46 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | God_Hates_Ash | 35 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zikael | +3.74 | 68 | 47 |
| #2 | an idiot™ | +2.15 | 69 | 71 |
| #3 | Sk1reh | +1.08 | 79 | 67 |
| #4 | ✧: •.c dawg hates csgo | -0.66 | 71 | 57 |
| #5 | god | -1.50 | 76 | 52 |





