








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1552 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,923 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 343 | 18% |
| Smokes | 648 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 743 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 189 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $417,281 of utility $149 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 359 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xyph x) | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | an idiotâ„¢ | 64% | 73 |
| #3 | God_Hates_Ash | 59% | 34 |
| #4 | NatBingBong | 57% | 68 |
| #5 | Boserup | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | an idiotâ„¢ | 64% | 73 |
| #3 | God_Hates_Ash | 59% | 34 |
| #4 | NatBingBong | 57% | 68 |
| #5 | Boserup | 57% | 14 |
| #6 | Willebrodus | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | an idiotâ„¢ | 12 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | Boserup | 5 | 0.0164 |
| #3 | Willebrodus | 4 | 0.0133 |
| #4 | NatBingBong | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | God_Hates_Ash | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | an idiotâ„¢ | 149 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | xyph x) | 77 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #3 | NatBingBong | 13 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #4 | Willebrodus | 12 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | God_Hates_Ash | 11 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xyph x) | +5.51 | 74 | 68 |
| #2 | Zikael | +3.84 | 69 | 43 |
| #3 | an idiotâ„¢ | +1.94 | 75 | 69 |
| #4 | God_Hates_Ash | -1.61 | 27 | 23 |
| #5 | Willebrodus | -4.05 | 39 | 29 |





