








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
274 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 776 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 177 | 23% |
| Smokes | 121 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 247 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 231 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $124,489 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 161 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smellyfoot | 46% | 26 |
| #2 | thelastpilot | 44% | 16 |
| #3 | Every Silvers Worst Nightmare | 33% | 12 |
| #4 | OJs Wife | 32% | 38 |
| #5 | The Beef | 30% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | thelastpilot | 44% | 16 |
| #3 | Every Silvers Worst Nightmare | 33% | 12 |
| #4 | OJs Wife | 32% | 38 |
| #5 | The Beef | 30% | 33 |
| #6 | 白 | 0% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Beef | 7 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | OJs Wife | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Smellyfoot | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Every Silvers Worst Nightmare | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | 白 | 1 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Beef | 79 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | OJs Wife | 77 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #3 | Smellyfoot | 64 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Every Silvers Worst Nightmare | 43 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | 白 | 20 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Every Silvers Worst Nightmare | +8.37 | 85 | 61 |
| #2 | 白 | +1.05 | 71 | 75 |
| #3 | Smellyfoot | +0.95 | 58 | 52 |
| #4 | The Beef | -0.90 | 60 | 47 |
| #5 | Anakin Kid Killer | -1.48 | 46 | 48 |





