








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 205 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1348 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,262 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1074 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1183 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1059 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 946 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $366,625 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 282 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReaN | 80% | 15 |
| #2 | Orrz | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | A7LI | 53% | 45 |
| #4 | FjallaGyðingurツ™ | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | ORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRZZZZZZZZZZZ | 50% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | samuel | 50% | 42 |
| #7 | VEJAY-_- | 48% | 21 |
| #8 | Skipid DAS BOOT | 43% | 7 |
| #9 | -VoLkoFF | 43% | 7 |
| #10 | rufus | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A7LI | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | samuel | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Skipid DAS BOOT | 1 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | samuel | 213 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #2 | FjallaGyðingurツ™ | 95 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Orrz | 91 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | ORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRZZZZZZZZZZZ | 82 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | VEJAY-_- | 78 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReaN | +4.33 | 76 | 66 |
| #2 | Skipid DAS BOOT | +1.35 | 70 | 66 |
| #3 | samuel | +1.16 | 72 | 66 |
| #4 | Wadji | +0.80 | 62 | 59 |
| #5 | VEJAY-_- | +0.50 | 68 | 56 |





