








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1251 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,463 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1109 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1210 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1118 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1026 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $516,882 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lll | 61% | 57 |
| #2 | WRETCHED | 56% | 52 |
| #3 | aerowalk | 51% | 75 |
| #4 | skeelz | 48% | 71 |
| #5 | ⍑☈∃∄₨ℍ₦℮⋿ | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | mooreontap | 44% | 39 |
| #7 | NAMELESS | 42% | 129 |
| #8 | RASCAL | 42% | 72 |
| #9 | BETELGEUSE | 36% | 22 |
| #10 | panic | 27% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aerowalk | 11 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | RASCAL | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | mooreontap | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | lll | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | NAMELESS | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NAMELESS | 522 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | lll | 273 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #3 | RASCAL | 254 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | aerowalk | 216 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | WRETCHED | 189 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lll | +2.75 | 67 | 65 |
| #2 | NAMELESS | +1.58 | 79 | 69 |
| #3 | BETELGEUSE | +0.83 | 86 | 64 |
| #4 | ⍑☈∃∄₨ℍ₦℮⋿ | +0.31 | 53 | 52 |
| #5 | RASCAL | +0.15 | 72 | 63 |





