








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1333 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,640 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1525 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1349 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1099 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 667 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $200,550 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s4m | 55% | 31 |
| #2 | An1ta | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | Cookie | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | Dockx | 46% | 41 |
| #5 | Marvos | 46% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | yamakyo | 43% | 14 |
| #10 | H@R!B0 | 42% | 64 |
| #11 | MuTTs NuTTs | 42% | 69 |
| #12 | George | 40% | 10 |
| #13 | Tank | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tank | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Marvos | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | H@R!B0 | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | MuTTs NuTTs | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Dockx | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marvos | 487 | 0.31 | 16 min |
| #2 | MuTTs NuTTs | 241 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Dockx | 127 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Ben Adaephon Delat | 80 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | s4m | 63 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s4m | +3.04 | 74 | 68 |
| #2 | Marvos | +2.42 | 73 | 83 |
| #3 | Ben Adaephon Delat | +1.21 | 63 | 72 |
| #4 | Knes | +0.46 | 58 | 51 |
| #5 | Cookie | -0.11 | 54 | 72 |





