








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2883 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,936 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1806 | 37% |
| Smokes | 859 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1169 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1102 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $499,178 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 246 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ruki | 69% | 13 |
| #2 | koz | 54% | 183 |
| #3 | whisper | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | float bricker | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | meow thing | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | float bricker | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | meow thing | 48% | 21 |
| #6 | Jynxtin | 47% | 15 |
| #7 | JordyL | 38% | 16 |
| #8 | Milo | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koz | 28 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | float bricker | 8 | 0.0122 |
| #3 | JordyL | 6 | 0.0160 |
| #4 | Milo | 3 | 0.0100 |
| #5 | Jynxtin | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | koz | 169 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #2 | JordyL | 88 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #3 | float bricker | 59 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | ruki | 52 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | Milo | 38 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Defo_- cs.money | +2.87 | 83 | 46 |
| #2 | ruki | +2.76 | 76 | 52 |
| #3 | Milo | +1.46 | 85 | 52 |
| #4 | JordyL | +0.59 | 89 | 56 |
| #5 | koz | +0.58 | 72 | 38 |





