








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 526 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1912 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,880 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 599 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1345 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2455 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 1481 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,182,337 of utility $243 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mZky | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | The Entry | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Bot Gabe | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Wiliiz | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | SHREK | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mZky | 253 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | The Entry | 167 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Wiliiz | 157 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | SHREK | 106 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Chud Hanks | 92 | 0.10 | 2 min |





