








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 122 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1085 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,350 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1489 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1117 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1084 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 660 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $202,964 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chip | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | DeeWuu | 67% | 24 |
| #3 | rat | 63% | 27 |
| #4 | Mod | 63% | 8 |
| #5 | Meat Cube | 60% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grandpa | ZEUS - 238 | 125 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #2 | NickyNipz | 91 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | Meat Cube | 83 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | J Sauce | 75 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Wook | 72 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J Sauce | +4.42 | 83 | 52 |
| #2 | DeeWuu | +3.58 | 70 | 57 |
| #3 | Wook | +2.17 | 68 | 61 |
| #4 | SpennyS | +1.62 | 62 | 63 |
| #5 | rat | +1.13 | 46 | 55 |





