








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 950 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 983 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11573 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,905 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6834 | 19% |
| Smokes | 11806 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 8379 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 9886 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,783,376 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 504 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meow Zedong | 56% | 59 |
| #2 | holy guacamole | 53% | 113 |
| #3 | Didlo | 53% | 93 |
| #4 | crack csgoempire.com | 51% | 279 |
| #5 | SpectralOwl | 49% | 187 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | holy guacamole | 53% | 113 |
| #3 | Didlo | 53% | 93 |
| #4 | crack csgoempire.com | 51% | 279 |
| #5 | SpectralOwl | 49% | 187 |
| #6 | EBITDA | 49% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crack csgoempire.com | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | SpectralOwl | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | EBITDA | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | holy guacamole | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Didlo | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crack csgoempire.com | 200 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| #2 | SpectralOwl | 196 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | Didlo | 149 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | holy guacamole | 109 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | EBITDA | 100 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EBITDA | +1.37 | 67 | 59 |
| #2 | holy guacamole | +1.22 | 84 | 48 |
| #3 | FluxZ | +0.88 | 67 | 59 |
| #4 | Didlo | +0.47 | 72 | 54 |
| #5 | Meow Zedong | -0.48 | 80 | 45 |





