








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 99 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 924 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 62 matches | ||
| Wingman | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




116 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14803 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 62,033 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16255 | 26% |
| Smokes | 11842 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 17580 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 16356 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,136,140 of utility $36 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 906 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | hy | 50% | 317 |
| #12 | la'Slow | 50% | 157 |
| #13 | nCaw | ..Mede | 49% | 94 |
| #14 | Dr. | 48% | 192 |
| #15 | AsSaSsIN | 47% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hy | 29 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | IFJ. VEZEKÉNYI LÁSZLÓ | 19 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | nCaw | Camyy | 18 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Mr.G | 18 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Bob Lee™ | 14 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nCaw | Camyy | 1241 | 0.08 | 31 min |
| #2 | IFJ. VEZEKÉNYI LÁSZLÓ | 945 | 0.15 | 21 min |
| #3 | Dr. | 855 | 0.22 | 18 min |
| #4 | hy | 759 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #5 | AsSaSsIN | 383 | 0.13 | 11 min |





