








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1665 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 799 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 111 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




85 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11783 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 43,825 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14479 | 33% |
| Smokes | 10447 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 11885 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 7014 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,504,991 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5062 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GARRETT | 27 | 0.0105 |
| #2 | la'Slow | 23 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Gyuri bácsi | 23 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | R1o.O | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | 🦂 𝔇𝔞𝔫𝔤𝔢𝔯 | 5 | 0.0030 |





