








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 555 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 229 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 70 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3674 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,753 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2295 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2179 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2203 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4076 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,484,525 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 293 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Mongol-Para | 48% | 273 |
| #6 | Casino Marco | 48% | 209 |
| #7 | Kuubz | 48% | 378 |
| #8 | T E R A S | 43% | 77 |
| #9 | Mr Crisper | 38% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuubz | 11 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Casino Marco | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Mr Crisper | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | ᴬqᵘᵃ | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | KuuL | 4 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuubz | 683 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #2 | Casino Marco | 601 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #3 | Mongol-Para | 345 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | KuuL | 302 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | Mr Crisper | 175 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KuuL | +3.61 | 94 | 56 |
| #2 | ᴬqᵘᵃ | +2.03 | 74 | 58 |
| #3 | Lurban | +1.73 | 78 | 54 |
| #4 | FIERCE | +0.34 | 68 | 52 |
| #5 | Kuubz | -0.41 | 53 | 59 |





