








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 345 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1611 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,496 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2243 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2325 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1831 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2097 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $974,656 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴬqᵘᵃ | 51% | 53 |
| #2 | Mongol-Para | 49% | 156 |
| #3 | FIERCE | 48% | 209 |
| #4 | Kuubz | 48% | 202 |
| #5 | KuuL | 48% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | FIERCE | 48% | 209 |
| #4 | Kuubz | 48% | 202 |
| #5 | KuuL | 48% | 42 |
| #6 | T E R A S | 38% | 34 |
| #7 | Mr Crisper | 38% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FIERCE | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Kuubz | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Mongol-Para | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | T E R A S | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Mr Crisper | 2 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kuubz | 387 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #2 | Mongol-Para | 241 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | KuuL | 133 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | FIERCE | 113 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | Mr Crisper | 66 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KuuL | +3.83 | 94 | 51 |
| #2 | ᴬqᵘᵃ | +2.75 | 76 | 56 |
| #3 | Mr Crisper | +1.00 | 64 | 52 |
| #4 | FIERCE | +0.58 | 66 | 53 |
| #5 | T E R A S | -0.20 | 50 | 65 |





