








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
369 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 883 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 221 | 25% |
| Smokes | 337 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 177 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 148 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $152,285 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chris | 50% | 14 |
| #2 | Jawnny | 50% | 38 |
| #3 | OogleMYBoogle | 49% | 45 |
| #4 | Dank Viking | 35% | 17 |
| #5 | Pug | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Dank Viking | 35% | 17 |
| #5 | Pug | 33% | 9 |
| #6 | psychSZN | 32% | 19 |
| #7 | Maul † | 25% | 4 |
| #8 | Patron | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jawnny | 4 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | psychSZN | 4 | 0.0115 |
| #3 | OogleMYBoogle | 3 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | Patron | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Pug | 1 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OogleMYBoogle | 64 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | Jawnny | 57 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Dank Viking | 57 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | psychSZN | 34 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Pug | 19 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | psychSZN | +2.96 | 67 | 53 |
| #2 | Pug | +1.86 | 32 | 69 |
| #3 | Maul † | +1.51 | 25 | 62 |
| #4 | Jawnny | +0.47 | 27 | 53 |
| #5 | Patron | +0.40 | 26 | 45 |





