








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September






The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 41 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
315 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,409 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 145 | 10% |
| Smokes | 354 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 373 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 537 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $96,322 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patron | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | Dank Viking | 52% | 21 |
| #3 | Duncan | 50% | 14 |
| #4 | Jawnny | 40% | 43 |
| #5 | psychSZN | 36% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | psychSZN | 36% | 33 |
| #6 | Potter | 33% | 9 |
| #7 | Pug | 33% | 27 |
| #8 | OogleMYBoogle | 33% | 49 |
| #9 | Maul † | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OogleMYBoogle | 6 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Jawnny | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | psychSZN | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Pug | 1 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Dank Viking | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dank Viking | 87 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #2 | OogleMYBoogle | 67 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Jawnny | 67 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Pug | 58 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | psychSZN | 37 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maul † | +5.17 | 64 | 30 |
| #2 | Potter | +3.61 | 77 | 50 |
| #3 | psychSZN | +2.10 | 64 | 59 |
| #4 | Patron | +0.10 | 33 | 38 |
| #5 | Jawnny | +0.01 | 39 | 56 |





