








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
509 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,078 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 181 | 17% |
| Smokes | 214 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 462 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 221 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $224,609 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maul † | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Chris | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | Pug | 45% | 22 |
| #4 | Dank Viking | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | Jawnny | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Dank Viking | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | Jawnny | 44% | 32 |
| #6 | psychSZN | 43% | 35 |
| #7 | OogleMYBoogle | 39% | 33 |
| #8 | Duncan | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | psychSZN | 5 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | Jawnny | 2 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | OogleMYBoogle | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Pug | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jawnny | 66 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Dank Viking | 64 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | Pug | 62 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | OogleMYBoogle | 38 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | psychSZN | 38 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | psychSZN | +2.63 | 70 | 59 |
| #2 | Maul † | +2.25 | 54 | 71 |
| #3 | Jawnny | +0.01 | 39 | 60 |
| #4 | Pug | -0.04 | 45 | 68 |
| #5 | Dank Viking | -0.68 | 39 | 53 |





