








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1122 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,615 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1017 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1526 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1331 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1741 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $234,111 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dank Viking | 54% | 39 |
| #2 | Duncan | 49% | 45 |
| #3 | Maul † | 47% | 19 |
| #4 | Jawnny | 45% | 104 |
| #5 | Pug | 41% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Jawnny | 45% | 104 |
| #5 | Pug | 41% | 41 |
| #6 | psychSZN | 41% | 73 |
| #7 | Patron | 39% | 33 |
| #8 | Chris | 33% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jawnny | 12 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | psychSZN | 8 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Maul † | 4 | 0.0100 |
| #4 | Dank Viking | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Pug | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jawnny | 183 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | Dank Viking | 140 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | Pug | 101 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | psychSZN | 95 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Maul † | 37 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | psychSZN | +3.22 | 67 | 55 |
| #2 | Maul † | +3.20 | 61 | 48 |
| #3 | Dank Viking | +0.38 | 47 | 59 |
| #4 | Pug | +0.34 | 38 | 73 |
| #5 | Jawnny | -0.04 | 34 | 56 |





