








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 281 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 154 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1330 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,149 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 940 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1573 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1704 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1932 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $810,551 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 'Klischee' | 35% | 199 |
| #2 | cider-of-shr00m | 33% | 15 |
| #3 | Guardian | 33% | 183 |
| #4 | 'Mufflon' | 32% | 185 |
| #5 | PawiDuck | 32% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 'Klischee' | 35% | 199 |
| #2 | cider-of-shr00m | 33% | 15 |
| #3 | Guardian | 33% | 183 |
| #4 | 'Mufflon' | 32% | 185 |
| #5 | PawiDuck | 32% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guardian | 23 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | 'Mufflon' | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | 'Klischee' | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | PawiDuck | 6 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guardian | 310 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #2 | 'Mufflon' | 262 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #3 | PawiDuck | 168 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | 'Klischee' | 145 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | cider-of-shr00m | 28 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 'Mufflon' | +1.30 | 50 | 68 |
| #2 | 'Klischee' | +0.94 | 55 | 62 |
| #3 | Guardian | +0.29 | 43 | 59 |
| #4 | 'Protektor' | -1.15 | 27 | 64 |
| #5 | cider-of-shr00m | -1.42 | 32 | 66 |





