








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 274 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 162 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1751 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,516 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 888 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1913 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1216 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1499 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $587,070 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 'Protektor' | 35% | 199 |
| #2 | Guardian | 32% | 190 |
| #3 | 'Mufflon' | 32% | 201 |
| #4 | PawiDuck | 31% | 184 |
| #5 | cider-of-shr00m | 25% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 'Protektor' | 35% | 199 |
| #2 | Guardian | 32% | 190 |
| #3 | 'Mufflon' | 32% | 201 |
| #4 | PawiDuck | 31% | 184 |
| #5 | cider-of-shr00m | 25% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guardian | 24 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | 'Mufflon' | 12 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | 'Protektor' | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | PawiDuck | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | cider-of-shr00m | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guardian | 323 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #2 | 'Mufflon' | 291 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | 'Protektor' | 214 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | PawiDuck | 177 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | cider-of-shr00m | 43 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 'Mufflon' | +1.24 | 49 | 68 |
| #2 | 'Klischee' | +0.97 | 55 | 61 |
| #3 | Guardian | +0.22 | 44 | 59 |
| #4 | cider-of-shr00m | -1.10 | 29 | 62 |
| #5 | 'Protektor' | -1.20 | 27 | 64 |





