








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 257 matches | ||
| Faceit | 97 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4744 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,527 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4520 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1935 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2709 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3363 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $519,085 of utility $58 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reginald | 59% | 147 |
| #2 | Bane | 59% | 171 |
| #3 | Gza | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | Photo | 55% | 97 |
| #5 | ⓜⓘⓚⓔ | 54% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reginald | 59% | 147 |
| #2 | Bane | 59% | 171 |
| #3 | Gza | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | Photo | 55% | 97 |
| #5 | ⓜⓘⓚⓔ | 54% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bane | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Photo | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | reginald | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | ⓜⓘⓚⓔ | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⓜⓘⓚⓔ | 474 | 0.25 | 12 min |
| #2 | Photo | 413 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #3 | reginald | 355 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | Bane | 234 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Gza | 73 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Disaster | +1.46 | 81 | 52 |
| #2 | Bane | +0.58 | 72 | 58 |
| #3 | Photo | +0.21 | 66 | 64 |
| #4 | ⓜⓘⓚⓔ | +0.05 | 72 | 71 |
| #5 | Gza | -0.10 | 69 | 73 |





