








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 576 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 56 matches | 1,830 | |
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3620 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,975 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3035 | 38% |
| Smokes | 1220 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 2016 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1704 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $893,168 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 295 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blessthefallfan | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Nanook | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | Hus | 63% | 24 |
| #4 | Juho | 63% | 40 |
| #5 | Zar | 56% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AirHawKX | +3.33 | 75 | 61 |
| #2 | Nanook | +2.63 | 68 | 65 |
| #3 | Juho | +2.10 | 70 | 59 |
| #4 | Hus | +1.86 | 65 | 64 |
| #5 | blessthefallfan | +1.18 | 62 | 61 |





