








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1232 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 188 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4290 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,539 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4687 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3301 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3095 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3456 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,311,706 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 286 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n1eghty | 66% | 32 |
| #2 | AirHawKX | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | Enginee®.G ⌐ | 61% | 31 |
| #4 | Stehvogel | 57% | 40 |
| #5 | Mr. Pato | 56% | 172 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bark bark | 8 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Mr. Pato | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Stehvogel | 6 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | BlastingCitter | 4 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | n1eghty | 4 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bark bark | 303 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | Mr. Pato | 273 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | Snowflako | 135 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Stehvogel | 91 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | AirHawKX | 55 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stehvogel | +2.89 | 76 | 40 |
| #2 | BlastingCitter | +2.44 | 69 | 44 |
| #3 | Mr. Pato | +2.36 | 68 | 61 |
| #4 | Hus | +2.23 | 68 | 61 |
| #5 | AirHawKX | +1.60 | 76 | 54 |





