








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 333 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 148 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3711 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,441 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2436 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2591 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2713 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1701 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,031,835 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 214 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Sibir | 59% | 73 |
| #8 | HC Kettu tyttö | 55% | 133 |
| #9 | Morgons | 54% | 72 |
| #10 | Jeckoa | 50% | 20 |
| #11 | Hus | 47% | 19 |





