








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 68 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
410 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,597 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 523 | 33% |
| Smokes | 382 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 345 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 347 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $69,364 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | leprechaunsoup | 50% | 4 |
| #7 | GUH | 44% | 9 |
| #8 | YAMI_SLICER | 33% | 9 |
| #9 | Poland Pole | 25% | 4 |
| #10 | Yeet | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magma | 9 | 0.0662 |
| #2 | mole | 7 | 0.0263 |
| #3 | Yeet | 4 | 0.0460 |
| #4 | El Creyente | 3 | 0.0166 |
| #5 | SHAZAMBOM | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SHAZAMBOM | 71 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| #2 | mole | 30 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | YAMI_SLICER | 22 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | GUH | 21 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Yeet | 18 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Magma | +4.83 | 54 | 61 |
| #2 | Poland Pole | +3.36 | 25 | 17 |
| #3 | SHAZAMBOM | +2.43 | 56 | 50 |
| #4 | GUH | +2.16 | 51 | 49 |
| #5 | Yeet | +1.74 | 33 | 49 |





