








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2245 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 213 matches | ||
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4369 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,353 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4258 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5059 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4230 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3806 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,179,231 of utility $205 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fl9ster | 66% | 56 |
| #2 | k u K ...HORKURGLE! | 59% | 71 |
| #3 | MANTO | 54% | 149 |
| #4 | Mario | 51% | 276 |
| #5 | riAlicious | 50% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | riAlicious | 50% | 176 |
| #6 | ✪Iredarknlioness • | 48% | 121 |
| #7 | FoX | 45% | 286 |
| #8 | h4PpY | 45% | 92 |
| #9 | Josh | 43% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mario | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | riAlicious | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | MANTO | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | ✪Iredarknlioness • | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | h4PpY | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mario | 724 | 0.12 | 25 min |
| #2 | riAlicious | 544 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #3 | FoX | 539 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #4 | MANTO | 443 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #5 | h4PpY | 291 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | riAlicious | +1.39 | 71 | 70 |
| #2 | h4PpY | +0.86 | 69 | 70 |
| #3 | Zenux | +0.78 | 79 | 65 |
| #4 | Mario | +0.39 | 37 | 73 |
| #5 | ✪Iredarknlioness • | +0.12 | 62 | 55 |





