








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1060 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 612 matches | ||
| Premier | 244 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8044 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 42,322 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11644 | 28% |
| Smokes | 9756 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 11988 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 8934 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,876,261 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1525 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zenux | 54% | 149 |
| #2 | fl9ster | 53% | 58 |
| #3 | h4PpY | 51% | 241 |
| #4 | Mario | 51% | 631 |
| #5 | riAlicious | 51% | 400 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | miThras | 49% | 49 |
| #11 | ✪Iredarknlioness • | 47% | 253 |
| #12 | Kumpe | 44% | 133 |
| #13 | k u K ...HORKURGLE! | 43% | 241 |
| #14 | Yoshi | 43% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mario | 9 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | FoX | 9 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | riAlicious | 8 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | ✪Iredarknlioness • | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Zenux | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mario | 1323 | 0.10 | 44 min |
| #2 | riAlicious | 1040 | 0.12 | 31 min |
| #3 | FoX | 965 | 0.08 | 27 min |
| #4 | h4PpY | 634 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #5 | k u K ...HORKURGLE! | 407 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | miThras | +3.37 | 70 | 83 |
| #2 | h4PpY | +1.40 | 74 | 68 |
| #3 | riAlicious | +0.93 | 78 | 69 |
| #4 | Mario | +0.63 | 41 | 68 |
| #5 | Zenux | +0.60 | 81 | 67 |





