








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 960 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 502 matches | ||
| Premier | 445 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6844 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,018 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7197 | 22% |
| Smokes | 9705 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 8463 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6653 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,182,354 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 437 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fl9ster | 54% | 59 |
| #2 | bumoo | 54% | 203 |
| #3 | riAlicious | 51% | 383 |
| #4 | h4PpY | 50% | 238 |
| #5 | Mario | 50% | 770 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ✪Iredarknlioness • | 48% | 342 |
| #9 | byer | 46% | 61 |
| #10 | k u K ...HORKURGLE! | 46% | 149 |
| #11 | Zenux | 45% | 286 |
| #12 | Kumpe | 45% | 192 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mario | 17 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | ✪Iredarknlioness • | 13 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | MANTO | 10 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | riAlicious | 9 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Zenux | 7 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mario | 1622 | 0.10 | 56 min |
| #2 | MANTO | 1317 | 0.11 | 37 min |
| #3 | riAlicious | 1041 | 0.12 | 31 min |
| #4 | Zenux | 762 | 0.12 | 22 min |
| #5 | h4PpY | 603 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h4PpY | +1.79 | 73 | 69 |
| #2 | riAlicious | +1.16 | 78 | 70 |
| #3 | Mario | +0.98 | 41 | 69 |
| #4 | Zenux | +0.91 | 79 | 67 |
| #5 | ✪Iredarknlioness • | +0.53 | 64 | 56 |





