








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
813 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,044 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 30 | 3% |
| Smokes | 334 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 365 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 315 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $897,331 of utility $241 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beans | 68% | 102 |
| #2 | Yummy T | 62% | 160 |
| #3 | Dued | 62% | 173 |
| #4 | o_G | 62% | 123 |
| #5 | Liiquiid | 59% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dued | 20 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | Yummy T | 16 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | o_G | 9 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Beans | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Liiquiid | 6 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dued | 300 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | Yummy T | 214 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | Beans | 115 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | o_G | 83 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Liiquiid | 50 | 0.03 | 1 min |





