








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1148 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,413 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 500 | 15% |
| Smokes | 765 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1411 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 737 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $589,157 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 975 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aronith | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | Not Nathan776.5 | 68% | 102 |
| #3 | Yummy T | 64% | 123 |
| #4 | o_G | 64% | 75 |
| #5 | Dued | 64% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Not Nathan776.5 | 68% | 102 |
| #3 | Yummy T | 64% | 123 |
| #4 | o_G | 64% | 75 |
| #5 | Dued | 64% | 141 |
| #6 | Liiquiid | 55% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dued | 15 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Not Nathan776.5 | 13 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | Yummy T | 10 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | o_G | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Aronith | 2 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dued | 205 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | Yummy T | 163 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | o_G | 51 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #4 | Aronith | 24 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | Liiquiid | 20 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yummy T | +3.42 | 85 | 49 |
| #2 | Beans | +2.18 | 59 | 47 |
| #3 | Aronith | +1.68 | 83 | 29 |
| #4 | Dued | +1.33 | 67 | 61 |
| #5 | Liiquiid | -1.45 | 51 | 41 |





