










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 229 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
541 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 840 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 439 | 52% |
| Smokes | 278 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 88 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 35 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $65,336 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 152 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Connor101man | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | hallzy | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | s g a D fu e K t | 66% | 41 |
| #4 | ClartinYoMama | 64% | 28 |
| #5 | Michu | 59% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | hallzy | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | s g a D fu e K t | 66% | 41 |
| #4 | ClartinYoMama | 64% | 28 |
| #5 | Michu | 59% | 29 |
| #6 | DigGatt | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s g a D fu e K t | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Michu | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | hallzy | 1 | 0.0154 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Connor101man | 95 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #2 | s g a D fu e K t | 69 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Michu | 69 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | ClartinYoMama | 42 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | DigGatt | 38 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hallzy | +5.42 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | s g a D fu e K t | +4.62 | 84 | 61 |
| #3 | wayboy | +4.58 | 88 | 48 |
| #4 | Michu | +0.09 | 83 | 49 |
| #5 | Connor101man | -1.74 | 14 | 51 |





