








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 817 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




85 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6206 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,527 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1479 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2346 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2718 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1984 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,541,399 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 429 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Foffy | 62% | 136 |
| #2 | BAGUETTE SSJ | 61% | 33 |
| #3 | BT Summer | 57% | 68 |
| #4 | CAPTAIN ALEX | 54% | 153 |
| #5 | KLAAS | 52% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | euphocal | 46% | 52 |
| #9 | Yuri | 46% | 35 |
| #10 | Fabien "GOAT" Barthez ♥ | 45% | 40 |
| #11 | Mrsiriousexen ☭ | 42% | 96 |
| #12 | Mamie Roulette | 30% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KLAAS | 34 | 0.0106 |
| #2 | Mrsiriousexen ☭ | 33 | 0.0169 |
| #3 | CAPTAIN ALEX | 31 | 0.0099 |
| #4 | Mamie Roulette | 24 | 0.0233 |
| #5 | Caliaca | 23 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KLAAS | 974 | 0.30 | 23 min |
| #2 | Foffy | 653 | 0.23 | 16 min |
| #3 | Mrsiriousexen ☭ | 442 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #4 | BT Summer | 324 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #5 | CAPTAIN ALEX | 295 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fabien "GOAT" Barthez ♥ | +3.07 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | Caribou de ficelle | +2.20 | 87 | 37 |
| #3 | euphocal | +1.75 | 80 | 63 |
| #4 | KLAAS | +1.53 | 75 | 63 |
| #5 | Foffy | +1.29 | 61 | 71 |





