








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
811 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,194 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 680 | 31% |
| Smokes | 547 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 360 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 607 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $401,182 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bird | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Miindy | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Not Aidan | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | z1ggy | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | InConS1stEnt | 60% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | purpp | 53% | 30 |
| #8 | Phamtom Opera | 53% | 17 |
| #9 | gooey louie | 52% | 25 |
| #10 | kyle | 51% | 39 |
| #11 | ✪ rybo-iwnl- | 44% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | purpp | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | ✪ rybo-iwnl- | 2 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Miindy | 2 | 0.0157 |
| #4 | InConS1stEnt | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | kyle | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kyle | 198 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | InConS1stEnt | 190 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #3 | ✪ rybo-iwnl- | 91 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | gooey louie | 83 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | Phamtom Opera | 54 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bird | +6.62 | 94 | 46 |
| #2 | purpp | +2.69 | 73 | 57 |
| #3 | Phamtom Opera | +2.24 | 68 | 67 |
| #4 | InConS1stEnt | +2.12 | 83 | 72 |
| #5 | ✪ rybo-iwnl- | +1.92 | 86 | 60 |





