








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4842 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,541 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3956 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3602 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1650 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 3333 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $932,497 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 445 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bross | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | =S3AN= | 67% | 21 |
| #3 | uppers | 67% | 21 |
| #4 | Cal | 66% | 29 |
| #5 | Lucki | 64% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lucki | 14 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | LUCIFUR | 13 | 0.0165 |
| #3 | D0wnies | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Cal | 7 | 0.0115 |
| #5 | uppers | 3 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D0wnies | 351 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | John Howard | 258 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | Cal | 198 | 0.33 | 5 min |
| #4 | Lucki | 186 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | LUCIFUR | 158 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uppers | +3.30 | 74 | 61 |
| #2 | GodMxR | +2.99 | 76 | 58 |
| #3 | =S3AN= | +2.98 | 85 | 60 |
| #4 | Bross | +2.45 | 83 | 55 |
| #5 | YUNGPHOENIX | +1.75 | 84 | 52 |





