










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 264 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 235 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2401 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,310 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 515 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1027 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2277 | 43% |
| Molotovs | 1491 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $938,712 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Stoned Ricky | 48% | 153 |
| #7 | Jarosław Ka | 47% | 100 |
| #8 | Kai Zone | 46% | 104 |
| #9 | Phenomenal | 46% | 126 |
| #10 | Ludv1k | 45% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stoned Ricky | 15 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Phenomenal | 11 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | patrick | 11 | 0.0159 |
| #4 | Kai Zone | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Jarosław Ka | 5 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kai Zone | 670 | 0.31 | 18 min |
| #2 | Phenomenal | 547 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #3 | ave+ | 532 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #4 | Stoned Ricky | 334 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #5 | Jarosław Ka | 246 | 0.12 | 7 min |





