








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 689 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 332 matches | ||
| Faceit | 244 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6319 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,761 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12726 | 33% |
| Smokes | 9876 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 8544 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 7615 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $982,577 of utility $67 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 216 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kai Zone | 29 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Phenomenal | 19 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | patrick | 19 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | Jarosław Ka | 17 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Stoned Ricky | 9 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kai Zone | 2254 | 0.32 | 62 min |
| #2 | Phenomenal | 1570 | 0.20 | 50 min |
| #3 | patrick | 686 | 0.24 | 21 min |
| #4 | Jarosław Ka | 658 | 0.12 | 19 min |
| #5 | Stoned Ricky | 591 | 0.11 | 19 min |





