








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 682 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3359 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,873 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2063 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2710 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2176 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1924 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,155,106 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 509 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lippice | 81% | 21 |
| #2 | Ur Ass Mine | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | OPIUM* | 62% | 55 |
| #4 | ✘Ⱉ✘ | 60% | 93 |
| #5 | pumkn | 59% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ORI | 57% | 69 |
| #7 | 바랜별 | 56% | 32 |
| #8 | 가장깊은감정은항상침묵속에있다 | 53% | 60 |
| #9 | ⱽ⁴ˢᴱ | 53% | 126 |
| #10 | 무장 강도 | 51% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⱽ⁴ˢᴱ | 11 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | ✘Ⱉ✘ | 11 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | OPIUM* | 8 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | pumkn | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | 무장 강도 | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 무장 강도 | 510 | 0.34 | 10 min |
| #2 | ⱽ⁴ˢᴱ | 391 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | pumkn | 376 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #4 | ✘Ⱉ✘ | 346 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #5 | 바랜별 | 204 | 0.32 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [N_Droid]™ | +2.12 | 56 | 53 |
| #2 | ⱽ⁴ˢᴱ | +1.93 | 84 | 64 |
| #3 | ✘Ⱉ✘ | +1.13 | 63 | 54 |
| #4 | Ur Ass Mine | +0.76 | 46 | 67 |
| #5 | OPIUM* | +0.69 | 76 | 52 |





