








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 263 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3079 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,503 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4397 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4477 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3449 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3180 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,154,824 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 565 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SanderS | 52% | 21 |
| #2 | C@RL | 51% | 89 |
| #3 | rille | 50% | 82 |
| #4 | BanKowski | 48% | 211 |
| #5 | Lacylagersjef | 45% | 181 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BanKowski | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | enholst | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | knx[9] | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Lacylagersjef | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Massless | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BanKowski | 638 | 0.14 | 19 min |
| #2 | rille | 342 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | Lacylagersjef | 285 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | enholst | 263 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | knx[9] | 222 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BanKowski | +3.29 | 81 | 78 |
| #2 | rille | +1.47 | 84 | 73 |
| #3 | SanderS | +0.88 | 73 | 76 |
| #4 | eviss | +0.61 | 67 | 81 |
| #5 | knx[9] | +0.03 | 58 | 72 |





