








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1383 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 776 matches | ||
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Esplay | 35 matches | 1,674 | |
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4863 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,161 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7080 | 23% |
| Smokes | 8723 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 7696 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 7662 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,197,470 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eviss | 51% | 75 |
| #2 | C@RL | 49% | 87 |
| #3 | SanderS | 49% | 74 |
| #4 | BanKowski | 47% | 171 |
| #5 | knx[9] | 46% | 242 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Bɨ𝒻𝒻𝔢ɳ | 43% | 135 |
| #8 | rille | 43% | 63 |
| #9 | oddavie | 41% | 66 |
| #10 | Massless | 40% | 110 |
| #11 | Lacylagersjef | 38% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bɨ𝒻𝒻𝔢ɳ | 340 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #2 | BanKowski | 278 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | knx[9] | 214 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | SanderS | 204 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #5 | eviss | 161 | 0.12 | 5 min |





