








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 257 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2605 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,726 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1033 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1131 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 519 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1043 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,234,599 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ItzaHoudini | 53% | 43 |
| #2 | A1kaline | 48% | 124 |
| #3 | jsc_xD | 47% | 90 |
| #4 | Named King | 46% | 56 |
| #5 | voltzy | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | kin3tix | 42% | 59 |
| #9 | Bloodrich | 42% | 126 |
| #10 | kristi yamaguccimane | 41% | 34 |
| #11 | cloudwalker | 41% | 125 |
| #12 | Suck a Foo | 40% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1ckd | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Bloodrich | 9 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | jsc_xD | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | jpz | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | A1kaline | 5 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1ckd | 718 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #2 | Bloodrich | 499 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #3 | jpz | 312 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | jsc_xD | 282 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | A1kaline | 270 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cloudwalker | +0.94 | 66 | 55 |
| #2 | 1ckd | +0.87 | 77 | 67 |
| #3 | Bloodrich | +0.53 | 50 | 76 |
| #4 | A1kaline | +0.42 | 75 | 63 |
| #5 | jpz | +0.12 | 68 | 42 |





