








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2532 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,631 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1707 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3090 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2303 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2531 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $466,899 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | -MissBehavin | 48% | 79 |
| #9 | ♱ACE♱ | 45% | 31 |
| #10 | pantsONfire | 44% | 93 |
| #11 | BigJimmy(BunBun) | 39% | 46 |
| #12 | LiGhTsLoL | 32% | 19 |





