








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 522 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 162 matches | ||
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3636 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,261 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4710 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3966 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3784 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3801 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $833,816 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I quit Valorant | 53% | 45 |
| #2 | ttv: OneLargePigeon | 53% | 111 |
| #3 | Lexx | 53% | 68 |
| #4 | Pear | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | Notre_ | 53% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ttv: OneLargePigeon | 53% | 111 |
| #3 | Lexx | 53% | 68 |
| #4 | Pear | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | Notre_ | 53% | 152 |
| #6 | Pockett | 52% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lexx | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Notre_ | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | ttv: OneLargePigeon | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | I quit Valorant | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Pear | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ttv: OneLargePigeon | 314 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | Lexx | 259 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Notre_ | 141 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Pockett | 59 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | I quit Valorant | 59 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pockett | +1.30 | 70 | 53 |
| #2 | ttv: OneLargePigeon | +0.85 | 56 | 58 |
| #3 | keltic | +0.81 | 80 | 70 |
| #4 | I quit Valorant | -0.32 | 65 | 46 |
| #5 | Pear | -1.04 | 79 | 62 |





