








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2630 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 568 matches | ||
| Faceit | 180 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 203 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




183 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10553 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,491 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10869 | 28% |
| Smokes | 10298 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 9113 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 8211 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,075,602 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6246 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ULTRXX | 53% | 72 |
| #2 | hAze | 49% | 239 |
| #3 | brYce | 49% | 201 |
| #4 | Big Ash | 48% | 403 |
| #5 | Bubbles >_< uWu | 46% | 237 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hAze | 1096 | 0.21 | 26 min |
| #2 | Big Ash | 1050 | 0.12 | 25 min |
| #3 | brYce | 807 | 0.19 | 22 min |
| #4 | Bubbles >_< uWu | 512 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #5 | Rodney v2 | 348 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cal | +2.11 | 72 | 67 |
| #2 | ULTRXX | +2.06 | 92 | 66 |
| #3 | hAze | +1.27 | 82 | 63 |
| #4 | Bubbles >_< uWu | -0.08 | 61 | 68 |
| #5 | brYce | -0.53 | 61 | 66 |





