








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 241 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
686 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,712 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 806 | 30% |
| Smokes | 625 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 724 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 557 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $524,771 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StinkyBananaX | 52% | 25 |
| #2 | 1000 | 47% | 19 |
| #3 | LA SEÑORA X (AXP326) | 39% | 75 |
| #4 | Chalasor | 37% | 62 |
| #5 | Copérnico | 35% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 1000 | 47% | 19 |
| #3 | LA SEÑORA X (AXP326) | 39% | 75 |
| #4 | Chalasor | 37% | 62 |
| #5 | Copérnico | 35% | 164 |
| #6 | hBk^^ | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LA SEÑORA X (AXP326) | 13 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | Copérnico | 10 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Chalasor | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | StinkyBananaX | 2 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | 1000 | 2 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LA SEÑORA X (AXP326) | 246 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | Chalasor | 222 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | Copérnico | 188 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | StinkyBananaX | 114 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #5 | 1000 | 78 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1000 | +10.18 | 62 | 63 |
| #2 | Chalasor | +8.08 | 55 | 73 |
| #3 | StinkyBananaX | +7.85 | 56 | 67 |
| #4 | LA SEÑORA X (AXP326) | -1.66 | 14 | 55 |
| #5 | hBk^^ | -4.42 | 19 | 42 |





