








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 545 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 334 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5588 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,997 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5559 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4444 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3651 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3343 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,619,768 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 595 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | L1ndo | 50% | 34 |
| #8 | LA SEÑORA X (AXP326) | 50% | 38 |
| #9 | Copérnico | 46% | 136 |
| #10 | NanaFox | 41% | 54 |
| #11 | Madvillainy (2004)™ | 37% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leo | 29 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Joakim | 15 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | LA SEÑORA X (AXP326) | 13 | 0.0177 |
| #4 | Keiyaito :3 | 10 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Copérnico | 8 | 0.0029 |





