








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2919 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,629 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1823 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1984 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2198 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2624 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $819,725 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Paizuri | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | rono Q | 60% | 35 |
| #3 | ♕gainS♕ | 60% | 62 |
| #4 | P1ti-IWNL | 58% | 71 |
| #5 | FunkenSoldat | 58% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | andi_H | 51% | 37 |
| #9 | →DM(ಠ‿ಠ)← | 49% | 55 |
| #10 | \-| Frixx |-/ | 44% | 18 |
| #11 | Yanks | 41% | 22 |
| #12 | sH0tya | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FunkenSoldat | 12 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | rono Q | 5 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | ♕gainS♕ | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | P1ti-IWNL | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | →DM(ಠ‿ಠ)← | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P1ti-IWNL | 345 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #2 | ♕gainS♕ | 300 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #3 | rono Q | 152 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | andi_H | 84 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Paizuri | 78 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rono Q | +3.41 | 87 | 68 |
| #2 | ♕gainS♕ | +1.26 | 83 | 71 |
| #3 | yd0b0n | +1.20 | 78 | 48 |
| #4 | Yanks | +1.16 | 75 | 52 |
| #5 | kez 키쿄 | +0.70 | 76 | 57 |





