








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 104 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1963 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,321 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2134 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2348 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2102 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1737 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $420,480 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 469 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Potato | 61% | 92 |
| #2 | xeq | 60% | 48 |
| #3 | sharigan | 58% | 57 |
| #4 | bl3di | 57% | 63 |
| #5 | pRed lalalourd | 56% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | pRed lalalourd | 56% | 39 |
| #6 | SgB | 55% | 11 |
| #7 | Loubix | 55% | 11 |
| #8 | M1 | 52% | 63 |
| #9 | tacehh | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Potato | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | bl3di | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | M1 | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | pRed lalalourd | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | sharigan | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Potato | 232 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | bl3di | 214 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | M1 | 166 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | xeq | 144 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | sharigan | 101 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pRed lalalourd | +2.14 | 87 | 64 |
| #2 | xeq | +1.51 | 73 | 61 |
| #3 | Potato | +1.03 | 58 | 80 |
| #4 | SgB | +0.83 | 81 | 64 |
| #5 | bl3di | +0.22 | 68 | 63 |





