








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 288 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 101 matches | ||
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3799 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,491 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2115 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2711 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2864 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2801 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $586,036 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 95 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RixaNkURWA ;> | 82% | 22 |
| #2 | bl3di | 72% | 82 |
| #3 | Druckyy | 60% | 48 |
| #4 | KURKi- | 60% | 15 |
| #5 | sharigan | 59% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Potato | 58% | 105 |
| #7 | M1 | 55% | 101 |
| #8 | pRed lalalourd | 55% | 38 |
| #9 | GodZou | 43% | 28 |
| #10 | yzeR | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Potato | 9 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | bl3di | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | sharigan | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | pRed lalalourd | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | M1 | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1 | 325 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | sharigan | 290 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Potato | 277 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | bl3di | 277 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | Druckyy | 200 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xeq | +2.30 | 69 | 64 |
| #2 | pRed lalalourd | +2.10 | 85 | 62 |
| #3 | Potato | +1.18 | 58 | 76 |
| #4 | RixaNkURWA ;> | +0.87 | 58 | 70 |
| #5 | KURKi- | +0.28 | 82 | 67 |





