








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 266 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 162 matches | ||
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3280 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,106 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2498 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3781 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3423 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3404 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $981,457 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yzeR | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | KURKi- | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | bl3di | 62% | 126 |
| #4 | RixaNkURWA ;> | 62% | 34 |
| #5 | xeq | 59% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Potato | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | xeq | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | M1 | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | bl3di | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Druckyy | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1 | 520 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #2 | bl3di | 487 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #3 | xeq | 420 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #4 | Potato | 306 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | Druckyy | 229 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xeq | +2.78 | 66 | 65 |
| #2 | pRed lalalourd | +1.89 | 86 | 67 |
| #3 | RixaNkURWA ;> | +1.31 | 63 | 73 |
| #4 | Potato | +1.06 | 58 | 76 |
| #5 | KURKi- | +0.50 | 87 | 72 |





